Jan and Colin's story

"A great husband, father and friend. That’s how Colin would have wanted to be remembered. And he is, he was so loved. He was wise too, he really cared and wanted to help people. Colin was a remarkable man.

We met at college, and I never looked back. We clicked instantly.

Colin was at St John's College studying languages and I was studying to be a teacher at a college nearby. Colin used to hold monthly fundraisers for a local charity and was always looking for helpers. I had a friend who went to Colin's college and he invited me along to one of the fundraising lunches and asked me to help out. I met Colin in the kitchen and never looked back!

After we graduated from college, we got married in 1965. We moved around a few times over the years, following Colin's job. In 1988 he was in the Clapham train crash and was one of the only two survivors in the front carriage. He had bad injuries to his eyes, but we were so thankful for him surviving that day; he had things to do!

Colin’s wanderlust took us to so many places across the world. I will always remember the day we got to dance with penguins in the Falkland Islands. We were surrounded by them, waddling about. It will stick with me for the rest of my life, it is such a beautiful memory to have.

Eventually, we moved to Brockenhurst. Once you make it to the New Forest it’s very hard to leave, so we never did! I wouldn’t be anywhere else. I have such a lovely big family of friends, who really helped us when Colin became ill.

In September, Colin needed to go into the Inpatient Unit at Oakhaven Hospice. We were both very apprehensive and worried. You never think about how you will feel on a day like that before you have to. But we couldn’t have been met with more comfort and kindness. Everyone at Oakhaven was so lovely. Just so kind and gentle.

They swept us both up and cared for us like we could never have imagined. I even got a massage and manicure to give me some normality. For us, Oakhaven became more than a hospice; it became a source of compassion and comfort. A place where we truly mattered.

On the Friday night, the nurses knew, and I suppose I knew too, that Colin didn’t have very long left. They made up a very comfortable bed for me to stay close to him. It meant that whenever Colin stirred in the night, I was right there holding his hand, comforting him.

Colin was asleep most of the night, but I knew he was aware that I was with him on that last night. Colin died early the next morning. If the nurses weren’t as kind and aware as they were, we would not have been together in those final moments. Colin would have been alone, and I would have woken up to the worse phone call you could imagine. Instead, we were able to have one last memory together. Something I will treasure forever.

By donating monthly as a Moment Maker, I am honouring Colin and the care he was given at Oakhaven. I am helping others receive that same compassion and kindness. Ensuring other people’s final moments are filled with as much love and peace as Colin’s were.

Oakhaven is very important to me because they were so very good to us. Everyone there looked after Colin and they looked after me too.

Today, I ask you to become a Moment Maker to help secure the hospice into the future. Giving special and meaningful moments to local people facing death or the death of a loved one. Creating treasured memories in the toughest of times.

Imagine the moments you could create with your regular gift. Your moment could be filled with laughter, often heard in the Day Hospice, spent holding the hand of someone who is taking their last breaths. Or you could be allowing someone’s beloved pet into the hospice to say goodbye.