"I'm proud to have pledged to leave a gift in my will to Oakhaven Hospice"
Rob and Steve's story
"I've had a long relationship with hospices in general. My Dad passed away at one in 2002. So I was thrilled to be able to help Oakhaven Hospice, my local hospice, with fundraising by helping organise a half marathon to support them in 2013.
Truthfully, it wasn't until my partner Steve needed hospice care in 2022 that I fully understood how incredibly special Oakhaven is. The love and support that we both received during what was an incredibly painful time was nothing short of amazing.
Steve and I were together for 34 years and married for two. He was a very active person, and, before the world went into lockdown in 2020, we loved getting out for a cycle or walk in the countryside as often as we could. Having suffered with leg pain for over a year, at the very beginning of the pandemic, he started getting what he thought was severe sciatic pain in his leg.
When he noticed a lump in March 2020, he went to his GP and they decided that he needed to go for tests. The results showed that he had cancer and that it was terminal. The word 'terminal' is the most devastating thing you will ever hear. Steve was only 59 at the time and there were still so many things that we wanted to do together - including getting married.
Being told that you don't have long left puts your whole life into perspective. So, having committed to do it 10 years earlier, we finally decided to go ahead with the wedding.
Not long after we got married, Steve's health started to deteriorate. Having been such an active person all his life, he really struggled with the fact that he just didn't have the strength or stamina to do the things he used to do. We couldn't go away for more than a few days at a time, and the line in his chest meant that there were lots of things he simply couldn't do.
By September 2022, I could see that he was slowing down considerably. Further tests revealed that his cancer had spread and that he now had an inoperable brain tumour. We both felt completely sideswiped by this turn of events and I know that Steve felt very scared by what was happening to him. We were hanging on to any hope we could grab, but we knew it was time to think about the care that Oakhaven Hospice could give us.
I knew that Steve was going to be well looked after at Oakhaven, but I was truly amazed at the quality of care and the commitment of every single person who looked after Steve during this time.
Oakhaven Hospice was such a welcoming and inclusive place - we instantly felt like part of the family there.
Everyone who was staying at the same time as us had a different diagnosis and a different family makeup - but all were treated with the same warmth, care and dignity.
Oakhaven provided the peace and calm that both Steve and I needed, and with the support of all the incredible nurses, we were able to make the most of every moment we had together in those final weeks.
Steve hung on so that we could celebrate our second wedding anniversary together and he died just one day later.
Steve made sure I was going to be okay - and then he made sure Oakhaven Hospice was too.
Steve was always level-headed and practical, so it was no shock that he was adamant we discussed his finances before he died. I knew that he was passionate about leaving money to charities and I knew that Oakhaven would certainly be one of them. He made sure I was going to be okay and then set about making sure his legacy lived on.
I'm still in contact with Oakhaven Hospice - I actually still work on their website and am an active fundraiser for them, including organising a regular ten mile run. I'm so proud to know that Steve's kindness has given other families and couples the peace and support they needed, just like we did. I'm proud to have also pledged to leave a gift in my will to Oakhaven Hospice.
If we all leave a gift in our will, no matter how big or small, our support will secure the future of the Hospice. I hope you join me today."
Rob
How do I leave a gift in my will to Oakhaven Hospice?
Here is how to leave a gift in your will to Oakhaven. You will need to include our name, address and registered charity number, which are:
- Name: The Oakhaven Trust
- Address: Lower Pennington Lane, Lymington SO41 8ZZ
- Registered charity number: 900215
Click here to find out more about leaving a gift in your will to Oakhaven, or to speak to a member of the team in confidence, please call 01590 677773 or email legacy@oakhavenhospice.co.uk.
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