Tanya Baddeley

“People think a hospice is where people come to pass away – but it is so much more than that.”

For the Dawtry family, hospice care was something they had heard about – but never truly understood. Now they, want you to know what they know: that one day, any of us might need Oakhaven. And that it is only here because of people like you.

When Kevin Dawtry sat in his hospital bed in July 2024, watching England play in the Euro cup final, chatting with his family, nobody could have imagined how quickly everything was about to change. What followed was a whirlwind. A story of resilience, love, and ultimately, loss - but also one of extraordinary care.

Born in Hythe in 1958, Kevin lived a boyhood dream as a professional footballer, including at Southampton and Bournemouth, before moving into coaching and management with nearby clubs, including Totton & Eling. His contribution to the game, both on and off the pitch, left a lasting and meaningful legacy.

Kevin had always been healthy, fit and focused. But in 2024, a holiday was cut short by chest pains. Back in the UK, an ECG confirmed he had suffered a heart attack. In hospital he had a second one and underwent a heart bypass operation.

Then, on the day he was due to be discharged, an ultrasound found a mass on his kidney. What doctors initially thought was a cyst was confirmed by a CT scan to be stage three kidney cancer.

After surgery to remove his kidney, the family were hopeful. In April, Kevin received a clear CT scan. The relief was enormous. But eight weeks later, the cancer had returned. After four weeks of further treatment, the family received the news nobody ever wants to hear - Kevin only had days to live.

Despite strength and incredible resilience, the family suddenly found themselves facing the reality of end-of-life care. In hospital, things had felt fragmented, clinical, and at times overwhelming. Jane, Kevin’s wife, explains how arriving at Oakhaven Hospice changed everything.

“What made it so stressful and distressing, is the fact that you feel desperate. But from the minute we arrived at Oakhaven, the wonderful nurses looked after us all so well - making sure the whole family was okay, as well as Kevin. We were all made to feel so welcome, able to sit with him and be by his side at all times. Kevin was able to relax. To talk, make jokes, and be himself — warm, humorous and present — right to the end.

Kevin died at Oakhaven Hospice on 13th August 2025, aged 67, surrounded by the people he loved. Surrounded by calmness, dignity, and compassion.”

And Oakhaven's care did not stop there.

“There was no rush, no pressure. We sat together, we reflected, and we began to process what had happened - at our own pace.

What many people don’t realise is that hospice care doesn’t end with the patient. Oakhaven continued to support our family through grief – helping us to navigate a life that had suddenly changed. In the weeks and months after Kevin's death, I saw a bereavement counsellor for six weeks. Other family members attended insomnia workshops. The whole family was invited to a bereavement support group. Grief is something that touches everyone differently. Unless you’ve been through it, it’s hard to understand.

Hospice care is not a luxury. Hospices make the unbearable just a little bit more tolerable - and they will do anything to make sure the whole family is okay.

We didn’t realise that Oakhaven Hospice only receives a fraction of its funding from the NHS. They rely heavily on the generosity of the community. Without donations, the nurses who cared for Kevin would not be there. The counsellor who helped me would not be there. The quiet room where Kevin was cared for and where we could grieve together, without pressure or rush, would not be there.

The care and support that Oakhaven provides – for patients and their loved ones – really does make a difference. And it is free of charge for all.

Every pound raised is a promise to another family. A gift of any size helps Oakhaven continue to provide the care, the space, and the compassion that families like ours needed so desperately. And that other families in our community will need tomorrow.”

Jane