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Story

Lindsay’s story

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Lindsey and Richie with their children on a beach

Lindsay's Story

I lost my dad at 7 years old… I never thought history would repeat itself for my children

People don’t really think they will ever need Oakhaven Hospice. That was Richie and I, in our early forties with two young children, but we did.

I asked Richie out in a pub one night and it snowballed from there, we were married within a few months. One of the things that made me fall for Richie was his love for animals - cats and dragonflies were his favourite – we ended up with seven cats at one point!

Lauren was born a few months after we moved to New Milton and our son, Ed, completed our family shortly after. We adored life together; but doing our new house up with two very young children, we did find it stressful at times and Richie’s job was also very demanding.

Richie had always suffered with indigestion but recently it had really flared up. The GP always put it down to the stresses of life, and with him only being 40 they weren’t worried. In the end, Richie booked an endoscopy to get some real answers, without realising our lives would change forever. It was cancer.

After months of chemo the tumour had shrunk and we went in for Richie’s operation. I went into the recovery room after and he looked up at me and said, “They didn’t do it, Lindsay, I know it”. Devastatingly, the doctor confirmed this and said there was nothing more they could do. Our lives crumbled all over again.

Lindsey and her children

Amidst all this, Richie’s dad died very quickly with Leukaemia. My mother-in-law had just lost her husband and was now slowly losing her son. No parent should ever have to bury their child.

We tried to keep life as normal as we could for the children, but we struggled with the lack of hope. I lost my dad at seven years old and now history was repeating itself for our children, it was an unbearable thought.

It was Easter, and Richie had become very weak. He needed help, but as it was a bank holiday all the pharmacies were either closed or didn’t stock the new medicine prescribed. I was so desperate, and Richie was so ill, I didn’t know what to do. The sense of helplessness when someone you love is so sick and you can’t help them is just soul-destroying.

Richie and the children

A true haven

Eventually the district nurse came out, took one look at Richie and went straight down to Oakhaven Hospice to get the exact drugs he needed. The next day we went to the hospice and the staff were all incredible. They respected and appreciated all of Richie’s feelings and emotions about hospices and helped us feel at peace.

The relief on Richie’s face when he got into his room is a sight I will never forget. All the stresses of the last few months and years literally drained away from him. After a day, he wasn’t in pain anymore, it was such a gift. Richie was back with us again!

Compassion and support for all the family

The children and I were looked after too, Claire the chef would always ask what we would like to eat and got it spot on every time. The nurses and volunteers would always come in for a chat and it really felt like there was time to truly care for people at Oakhaven.

We got him home just in time for his birthday and Oakhaven’s care didn’t stop there. The community teams came out every day. They were such a lovely, caring and compassionate team, they had such empathy for us.

After six weeks at home, it was time for Richie to go back to Oakhaven. Watching the love of your life slowly disappear is hard; really hard. It was July when we said our last goodbye to Richie, my parents and his mum were with us. He was 42.

After, as we sat by the pond in the garden, the most beautiful bright blue dragonfly danced over the water and we knew Richie was right there with us. I then went home to be there for the children, telling them broke my heart all over again.

We were never going to see him again. Lauren wasn’t going to have her father walk her down the aisle and Ed wouldn’t have his dad to talk to through his difficult teenage years. It was a heavy realisation that my children would live out the same experience of loss that I had going up. I honestly don’t know what would have happened to us if Oakhaven wasn’t there.

No one truly knows how important Oakhaven really is until you need them. We all go through life, and we forget that this place is everything to someone right now. That’s why today I am asking you to join me in protecting that.

Oakhaven takes away that fear, desperation, and despair when you have no other support. We are so lucky to have it and we need to keep it. Your donation to Oakhaven today isn’t just a gift – it's a lifeline for families facing the unimaginable.

Thankyou

Lindsay

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Oakhaven takes away that fear, desperation, and despair when you have no other support.

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Ken and Pete’s 2024 challenge for Oakhaven

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Lake Windermere

Ken and Pete's Three Lakes Dinghy Sailing Challenge for Oakhaven - Yodare 2024!

Ken Fowler and Peter Barton have challenged themselves to a unique fundraiser - sailing a Three Lakes Challenge!

Starting on Monday 1st July 2024, the duo sailed double the length of Loch Awe in Scotland (25 miles long), Lake Windermere (10.5 miles long) and Llyn Tegid in Wales, 3.5 miles long - to raise funds for Oakhaven Hospice and Cancer Research UK.

The Three Lakes Challenge

Over the last seven years, Ken Fowler has sailed an adventure on an 'epic scale' to raise an incredible amount of money for Oakhaven Hospice and Cancer Research UK. As far as Ken is aware, this 'micro-adventure' has never been done before - and it is possibly accessible to all, so they hope to inspire others to follow in their wake!

Ken explains the challenge...

"To be honest the idea originated from a challenge in another sport, climbing (not necessarily one you would link to sailing!). The Three Peaks Challenge has always intrigued me, the aim is to try and climb the three highest peaks in Scotland, England and Wales within a 24-hour window. Now, clearly as light as Yoda is, it would be a near impossible (and stupid) task to try and get my beloved dinghy to the top of these three peaks, so what could the sailing equivalent be?

We discovered the Three Lakes Challenge undertaken by canoeists where the aim is to canoe the three longest lakes in England, Scotland and Wales. No one appeared to have ever attempted this in a dinghy, so we now had the bare bones of the challenge!"

A challenge for two sailors

"Previous Yodare challenges have been solo adventures, supported by fantastic people on the shore, but for this adventure I really wanted someone to share my experiences.

So step forward the second sailor in this adventure - Peter Barton. Peter is a world champion sailor in the RS Aero and his support throughout all my adventures has been constant and amazing. Having lost both his parents to cancer he totally understands why we keep undertaking taking these fundraising challenges and was keen to participate.

With two sailors involved, we decided we’d double the challenge by sailing a return journey along the length of each lake, swapping over at the halfway point. The only problem with doubling the sailing distance of this adventure up to 130km makes doing it as a non-stop challenge in 24 hours near impossible. So rather than putting pressure on specific timings we’ve decided to just try and complete it non-stop and see how quickly we can complete it (although our target is sub 36 hours)."

Follow Ken and Pete's adventure

Ken and Pete started their epic 2024 Yodare Three Lakes Challenge on Monday 1st July 2024 at Loch Awe in Scotland which is 25 miles (41km) long. followed by Lake Windermere - at 10.5 miles (18km) long, England's largest lake. The final leg is Llyn Tegid in Wales, 3.5 miles (6km) long.

You can follow their adventures on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/goyodare) and on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/goyodare) Find out more at: https://yodare.co.uk

Click the link below to support Ken and Pete in fundraising for Oakhaven Hospice on their JustGiving page...

Support Ken and Pete's fundraising challenge
Three Lakes Promo Poster

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Lizzie’s Story: Walking in Memory of Mum

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Lizzie and her sister with Mum and walking for Oakhaven

Lizzie's Story

"My mum was an amazing person, so kind, caring, generous, fiercely independent and very adventurous. She had so much love to give and gave the best two-armed hugs. She had the most wonderful laugh, which we miss so much. Mum moved to Lymington in her 60’s. It was her safe haven and her little bit of heaven. She loved her long daily walks along the sea wall and had created such a happy life for herself down here.

Mum was 75 when she was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer in 2021. She was a very private person and didn’t tell many people. At first, we didn’t want to think the worst, but it was very aggressive and she was given just a year to live. My sister and I took on the role of Mum’s carers, from the moment she was diagnosed and started her treatment until the very end. We tag-teamed the days and nights every week, right up until the moment when her end-of-life care started when she was discharged from the hospital and sent home for the last time.

Oakhaven was there to scoop us up

Oakhaven was there to scoop us up, not only for Mum but for us too. They were real-life angels, supporting us with Mum’s care when we needed it most. The nurses at Oakhaven phoned and visited every day in those final days and prepared my sister and me as best they could. The nurses were so caring and respectful, talking so kindly to Mum even when we weren’t sure how much she could hear.

Lizzie doing the Hospice Walk in 2023 in support of Oakhaven

On her last night, Mum’s breathing really changed. Jackie, an Oakhaven nurse, came in the morning and we all sat downstairs and had a cup of tea. We knew she didn’t have long left. When she took her final breath we were all there with her, holding her hand. Jackie gave us a nod to let us know she had gone. She helped us to wash and dress Mum for the last time, putting on her favourite pyjamas, moisturiser, and perfume, just as Mum would have liked. It was surprisingly calm and very tranquil and a real privilege to have been able to help.

It is such a humbling experience to go through losing someone you love so much and it's wonderful knowing mum was given the best possible care at the end of her life. She got her wish of being in her own bed at home and her last days were peaceful and pain-free. Oakhaven staff are very, very special people.

Walking in memory of Mum

My sister and I joined The Hospice Walk 2023 to give something back to Oakhaven whilst doing something fun, knowing that Mum would have absolutely loved to have joined in too! My sister’s competitive side came out on the walk and she set a challenge of completing it in under 7 hours. Our motto was ‘It’s not a race but it is!’ and we were the first team walking 26 miles to cross the line. Mum would have been so proud! I will be walking and fundraising again this year with a group of friends but this time I will be going for a more leisurely 26-mile stroll!"

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Matt Le Tissier delights Oakhaven Patient

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Matt Le Tissier and lifelong Saints supporter Brian

Matt Le Tissier delights Oakhaven Patient

Footballing legend Matt Le Tissier recently visited an Oakhaven Patient, helping to make a special moment for a lifelong supporter of Southampton Football Club.

Earlier this month, Saints supporter, Brian, was ‘over the moon’ when he received a visit from his footballing hero, Matt Le Tissier.

Brian, an Oakhaven patient receiving care and support in his own home in Dibden Purlieu and weekly at Oakhaven’s Day Hospice in Lymington, also enjoys regular visits from Paul, an Oakhaven Neighbours volunteer.

Paul said; “Brian is a lifelong Saints supporter and Matt Le Tissier is his hero. I wrote to Matt asking if he could visit and almost immediately he replied saying that he would be delighted. Matt spent an hour and a half visiting Brian. They chatted for a long time about the old players at Southampton Football Club. To coin a football phrase Brian was ‘over the moon’ and looks forward to telling everyone about the visit at his next visit to the Oakhaven Day Hospice.”

Matt Le Tissier said to Paul on being thanked for his visit; “It was my pleasure and keep up the great work you’re doing too, I’m sure Brian appreciates your weekly visit as much as mine. Up the Saints!” 

Brian said; "As a lifelong Saints Supporter to see Matt Le Tissier, my Saints hero, walk through my door was a massive surprise! A huge thank you to my Oakhaven Neighbour, Paul, for taking the time to create this special moment for me and to Matt for spending so much time, sharing memories, with me”.

Oakhaven Hospice provides specialist care and support for patients with life-limiting illnesses, at the hospice and in homes throughout the New Forest, Totton and Waterside communities, free of charge.

The demand for the care and support provided by Oakhaven is increasing each year. Last year, Oakhaven Hospice cared for 1,400 patients, both in the hospice and in homes throughout the New Forest, Totton and Waterside, free of charge. In addition, over 4,300 people navigating bereavement or a life-limiting illness received support through Oakhaven’s Coates Centre.

Yet only 11% of the hospice’s funding is covered by the government - the remaining 89% must be raised via donations, gifts in Wills, fundraising, the charity’s shops and the social enterprise Oakhaven Care Ltd.

Earlier this year Oakhaven launched ‘Moment Makers’, a programme focused on monthly donations that will directly support patients and their families. Moment Makers enables you to become part of a cherished community making a big difference, safeguarding compassionate end-of-life care so that it remains accessible to all who need it.

Find out more about Moment Makers

Over and above the clinical support provided by Oakhaven, ’Oakhaven Neighbours’ volunteers offer companionship and a helping hand at home to Oakhaven patients, assisting with everyday tasks that can become overwhelming when living with a life-limiting illness.

Find out more about becoming an Oakhaven volunteer

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Jan and Colin’s Story

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Jan and Colin Campbell

 Jan and Colin's story

"A great husband, father and friend. That’s how Colin would have wanted to be remembered. And he is, he was so loved. He was wise too, he really cared and wanted to help people. Colin was a remarkable man.

We met at college, and I never looked back. We clicked instantly.

Colin was at St John's College studying languages and I was studying to be a teacher at a college nearby. Colin used to hold monthly fundraisers for a local charity and was always looking for helpers. I had a friend who went to Colin's college and he invited me along to one of the fundraising lunches and asked me to help out. I met Colin in the kitchen and never looked back!

After we graduated from college, we got married in 1965. We moved around a few times over the years, following Colin's job. In 1988 he was in the Clapham train crash and was one of the only two survivors in the front carriage. He had bad injuries to his eyes, but we were so thankful for him surviving that day; he had things to do!

Colin’s wanderlust took us to so many places across the world. I will always remember the day we got to dance with penguins in the Falkland Islands. We were surrounded by them, waddling about. It will stick with me for the rest of my life, it is such a beautiful memory to have.

Eventually, we moved to Brockenhurst. Once you make it to the New Forest it’s very hard to leave, so we never did! I wouldn’t be anywhere else. I have such a lovely big family of friends, who really helped us when Colin became ill.

Jan and Colin Campbell

In September, Colin needed to go into the Inpatient Unit at Oakhaven Hospice. We were both very apprehensive and worried. You never think about how you will feel on a day like that before you have to. But we couldn’t have been met with more comfort and kindness. Everyone at Oakhaven was so lovely. Just so kind and gentle.

They swept us both up and cared for us like we could never have imagined. I even got a massage and manicure to give me some normality. For us, Oakhaven became more than a hospice; it became a source of compassion and comfort. A place where we truly mattered.

On the Friday night, the nurses knew, and I suppose I knew too, that Colin didn’t have very long left. They made up a very comfortable bed for me to stay close to him. It meant that whenever Colin stirred in the night, I was right there holding his hand, comforting him.

Colin was asleep most of the night, but I knew he was aware that I was with him on that last night. Colin died early the next morning. If the nurses weren’t as kind and aware as they were, we would not have been together in those final moments. Colin would have been alone, and I would have woken up to the worse phone call you could imagine. Instead, we were able to have one last memory together. Something I will treasure forever.

By donating monthly as a Moment Maker, I am honouring Colin and the care he was given at Oakhaven. I am helping others receive that same compassion and kindness. Ensuring other people’s final moments are filled with as much love and peace as Colin’s were.

Oakhaven is very important to me because they were so very good to us. Everyone there looked after Colin and they looked after me too.

Today, I ask you to become a Moment Maker to help secure the hospice into the future. Giving special and meaningful moments to local people facing death or the death of a loved one. Creating treasured memories in the toughest of times.

Imagine the moments you could create with your regular gift. Your moment could be filled with laughter, often heard in the Day Hospice, spent holding the hand of someone who is taking their last breaths. Or you could be allowing someone’s beloved pet into the hospice to say goodbye.

Oakhaven Moment Makers logo

Our story is just one example of how people's lives are impacted every day at Oakhaven. We must protect that.

You have the power to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary. Together, we can make every moment matter for those facing the end of life."

Become a Moment Maker today

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Ozzie Cycles the World in memory of beloved daughter

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Noel Osborne cycling the distance around the world in memory of daughter Jo Rivron.

Ozzie's Cycle Around the World Challenge

Noel 'Ozzie' Osborne has challenged himself to cycle 24,901 miles, the distance around the world, in memory of his beloved daughter Jo Rivron (née Osborne) and to support Oakhaven Hospice and the Piam Brown Children’s Cancer Unit at Southampton General Hospital.

"In early 2015 our daughter Joanna was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. She passed away in March 2022 after her long battle, at the age of 40, leaving behind her husband Christian, and two daughters Matilda (12) and Amelie (9).

Several charities helped Jo and her family deal with their journey, but the most important for Jo was Oakhaven Hospice in Lymington. She spent most of her last 3 months, including her last days there. She even referred to Oakhaven as ‘home’ when it was time to go back after spending her last Christmas at home with us. We cannot thank the staff and volunteers enough for the care and support they gave to Jo and also to Christian and the girls.

In the summer of 2020, in the midst of the pandemic, and just days before her 11th birthday, Jo’s daughter Matilda was diagnosed with leukemia and started a two and a half year treatment plan under the care of the Piam Brown Children’s Cancer Unit at the Southampton General Hospital.

The care they gave her was fantastic, she is now doing well, and her life is back on track. Many of the support facilities for the children and parents are made available through the Piam Brown charity. There were days and weeks when both Jo and Matilda (with Dad) were in hospital being treated for cancer, or fighting infections or side effects brought on by the chemotherapy. All of this with COVID restrictions and lockdowns in place. The support given by the team at the Piam Brown Ward helped the family through some very difficult times.

So what is this challenge all about?

At the start of the first lockdown in March 2020, I started cycling every day around the New Forest. It was a good way to keep busy every morning and a great distraction during Covid.

After passing 5000 miles, I turned my daily cycling into the ‘Trinidad Challenge’, which was 8,700 miles, the equivalent of going to Trinidad (where my parents were born) and back, in about 15 months. We raised over £30k for charities that had supported Jo and her family, including the two named here, and we thank everyone for their generous contributions

Noel 'Ozzie' Osborne's cycling cycling challenge

Around the World

Then I kept on cycling, and when I reached about 15,000 miles, I set myself the new challenge of ‘Around the World’ (24,901 miles around the equator) in 4 years, cycling every day, rain or shine, with a weekly target of around 120 miles, averaging 500 miles a month.

I am cycling every day, when home, without a break, because those dealing with cancer or other debilitating diseases don’t get the option to take a day off, so why should I? Also, cycling every day has provided a huge distraction to help deal with the reality of a life without Jo, but now it’s time to move forward, and I now need to swap many of those lonely hours on my bike, for more time with my family and friends. It’s been nearly four years, with many cold, wet winter rides, including one in a thunderstorm!

Now I am getting close to the goal with over 24,000 miles behind me, one broken bike frame, and with the finish line in sight in late March, I would like to invite you to support me, if you can, in raising funds for our charitable causes.

Noel Osborne on his bicycle

Help us to ‘pay it forward’ to two incredible charities that provided so much support for Jo and Matilda, and will continue to do so for so many other individuals, families, and in particular children, in our area."

Click here to visit Noel's 'Ozzie Cycles the World' Justgiving fundraising page supporting Oakhaven Hospice and the Piam Brown Children's Cancer Unit at Southampton General Hospital.

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/ozziecyclestheworld

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